STRANGERS AND FRIENDS

I DONT KNOW YOU AND NOT INTERESTED IN TALKIN!

Moolecheril

“Knowing each other is imperative, if they are far or near;
benevolence to talk is easy to know, and easy to learn;
if we don’t converse how we know, how we share;
so  do your part and talk , well not in your privacy !
I talk and I don’t know’em still, kick’em out freely!
Be vigilant and conscious, and find their intentions;
Strangers can be friends, and friends can be strangers!”

Strangers are one of the most important problems we are facing today in this world. Since the Industrialization and Globalization process, we meet a lot of strangers in our day to day lives. Before these processes happened our parents or grandparents kept us tugged under their armpit, in order to keep them close to family.  Now we can’t live like that anymore. We have to go out, outside of the comfort of our homes and families, to find work. We have to travel and live around the world because of our economic situations. Now nine out of ten of the random people we meet will be strangers. Even if we are in privacy they will come and invade it. So let us take look at some of the facts, as to who is a stranger and who is a friend.

Any person whom we don’t know personally is considered a stranger. There are a lot of different types of strangers like personal, family, groups, work place, local and national. All strangers should be looked upon as intruders or invaders of our privacy. All these strangers are approaching a person, group, or in any category for two main of reasons. They want to accomplish something by using us or they want to afflict something upon us. Whatever their intentions are sometimes they can benefit us or only benefit themselves. But some others’ intentions are well planned; they gain something by hurting us. We have to be very vigilant and conscious enough to understand their intentions.

For example I, myself, am a realtor, I have to meet strangers and go to strange places and homes, that’s just part of my job. If I am much too reluctant to do these things then how will I do my business? Well, I learned that the first meeting with my clients is really strange. I have to show my personality and talk to them, even boast a little here and there. While we converse, we will build a fiduciary relationship as a broker and a client, this relationship will later help me find their desired house and also sell them that very house. So the approach to that stranger was with an intention and vice versa. Another example is a well-known story about national strangers. Bin Laden wanted to hurt the world’s economy and inflict a big wound in the hearts American people. With that in his mind he trained people and sent them to America and they killed many and destroyed national monuments and historical buildings. By his and his followers actions we are still hurting, and not just America, the whole entire world. Crazy minded people like him are out there to inflict suffering on people, as well as on their ideas and thoughts.

I have another story to tell you about strangers, this one about a good Samaritan. This is happened to me when I was about twenty four years old. I had to travel with my nephew and niece to Kakkadumpoyil, Kozhikodu, Kerala, India. Before I go any further let me briefly tell you about Kakkadumpoyil a little. It is a small rural place located on top of a hill and it is about 15 to 20 Kilometers from Kozhikkodu town. No buses or cars will go up that hill. The roads are very bumpy, rocky and hard for anything only four wheelers to travel on it.  Well, if you are new to that place or if you are travelling there for the first time then you will be scared to death. Anyways, this anecdote doesn’t have anything to with that road particularly. Niece, nephew and I started heading out from Thiruvalla on a bus to Kozhikkodu. At that point we didn’t know exactly when we would reach the Kozhikkodu station. After quite a while, we finally reached Kozhikkodu around 11 PM and at that bus terminal we were looking for a bus to reach Kakkadumpoyil. But it was hard to find any bus at that time. We inquired to the station master and he told us that there is no bus at night, the only bus to there is in the morning at 7 AM and also he advised us that because we have a girl with us it is not safe to stay in that town at night. Kozhikkodu town is very dangerous with sex traffickers and criminals at night. Since I heard that, I was very scared and got out from that bus terminal and started to look for a place to stay for the night. Once we started to walk on that street, I saw that some guys walking behind us were following us. We didn’t know where to find a lodge. So all of a sudden I saw a priest coming towards us, and when he saw us he asked us why we were so worried. I told him what the station master had told us and he guided us to a safe lodge in that town. Well, in my story that priest was a total stranger to me, but at that moment in my life he was the best friend I ever met. So here some strangers help us better than a real friend can!

Since the introduction of internet, we can share information with millions out there. Well, the internet and social medias are very widely exposes us to more unknown territories. We have access to millions of information regarding people and merchandizes from anywhere on the planet. People on one end don’t know exactly who is on the other end and there is no way to find out what their actual intentions are. Some people won’t put their real names and bio-data on the internet. There are some understandable reasons behind that. And I will go through them later. What it is that I am trying to tell you is that we are talking to complete strangers on social networks, online chatting services, etc. It could be a man on one side posing as a woman or an old man posing a kid whatever may be the case, it’s all dangerous. This doesn’t mean you can’t use and trust the internet or share information on these social sites, the only thing is you have to be careful about who you talk to and what you share or post on the Internet. It’s a simple thing that now children in middle school are told over and over again by their principals on the first day of school.

Here I like to add another type of strangers, I like to call this group the secret strangers. These people are dangerous. When we are walking, talking, eating, sleeping, or working these guys are trying to get on our case. Here are some ways these culprits work. Some search through our paperwork, bank statements, telephone bills, etc to know our personal information. Others will stalk us, knowing where we live, who we hang out with, the places we most frequent, etc. These people are not just strangers, they are criminals. Therefore if they are caught committing these crimes, we have every right to try them in a court of law, have them brought to justice. It just goes to show there are some people out there who we can trust and others who we can only give so much as a benefit of the doubt as to their trustworthiness.

Our parents and grandparents and even our communities have taught us one thing: “Don’t talk to strangers or open your door for any strangers”. That is true in this day and age and probably forever.  But if you are planning to talk to any stranger you shouldn’t talk to them privately. Always avoid walkways, hallways, and stairwells, etc. If a stranger want to talk to you invite them to a public gathering place like a restaurant, shopping mall, etc. Always check for their identifications or other personal information whatever they may have. At this point you have the intentions to get to know them better. You shouldn’t readily agree to help them with anything they ask for, because it could turn out badly. Instead, when faced with that sort of situation, them that you’ll get back to them later. Then, to yourself, think about what they said and evaluate the benefits and unwanted consequences. If you decide to go forward and help them out, befriend them or whatnot, then that will be your choice. I am not a philosopher or anything, but this is my simple advice. You can either accept it or reject it.

We were talking about strangers up to this point, now let us see who are the real friends. Sometimes I think the word “friendship” doesn’t mean anything at all and but sometimes it can mean a lot too. I grew up in Pampady, Kottayam, kerala, India and I had a lot of childhood friends there. Since I’ve come to America I have more friends here. Sometimes I compare these two different types of friendships in my head. Who is real and who is fake? Well it is hard to find the right answer but I know whoever I’ve befriended since my childhood and those who still remember me and who still manage to keep in touch are my real friends. Because we started our friendship when we were kids with that wonderful childish innocence and we didn’t have any other intentions other than playing and having fun.  As the banana talk goes “No money no honey”. I made some friends when I became rich, but, of course, some of them are totally phony, they are those who are looking for richness and fame. Some of them only complicate my life and, not to mention, do quite a bit of backstabbing, they even changed my lifestyle for the worse. But did they do it purposely? I don’t know. So I’ve learned through my own life experiences that all friends are not real friends they can be strangers too. Those who have money and fame will have a lot friends. But when they are in dire trouble those supposed friends wouldn’t be there to help unless it furthers their social lives. That’s the rule of thumb and will be true in most people’s lives. What about you? Do you have any stories like this?

Strangers are always dangerous. I don’t think it is the problem of talking to strangers, it is what exactly we do with them, and how we talk to them. If we form a bond with a stranger, and if they have negative intentions, forming those sort of connections could end up being dangerous. This advice is primarily geared toward adults, not so much for the kids. Kids, if a strange person approaches you in anyway, get help from a trustworthy adult you know. Just as I said before be sure to be more vigilant and conscious about what you around strangers. Remember not that all friends are real friends. It is hard to find a true friend because we don’t have any sort of superhuman sixth sense to check their heart of hearts, like what they are thinking about us and what who they truly are. So be careful with when you are dealing with a third party! Well, every friend was a stranger once. Strangers can be friends and friends can be strangers!